Remember my last post on becoming a marathoner?
It was an incredible experience, but let’s get real- I still felt like I was getting hit very hard by an 18-wheeler in slow motion. For those of you who swear on your life you’ll never run one, here’s an inside look from my perspective.
1.Really, all races are just an event you pay for just to stand in line for porta potties and slowly die.
2. Wow. I can’t believe I am actually about to do this. Why would anyone do this?
3. OMGherewego! Can’t turn back now.
4. Remember, start out slow and get comfortable, we’re gonna be here for a while. Like, a VERY long while…
5. You’re running a full marathon while everyone else is still asleep or nursing a hangover. Yay, go you! (Oh, how things have changed.)
6. *Sees sign “If Trump can run for this long, so can you.”* Oh boy, that’s a good one.
7. Look at these women. They are kicking ass right now and are probably twice my age. #GOALS
8. This sunrise would be so much better if I was sitting on the beach instead of running past it.
9. I really have to pee. Already. Ugh, of course I do.
10. Down goes gel #1. This won’t be pretty.
11. Yep, that’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever had. *Chases with water.* Whoa, they’re wearing speedos at this water station. *Chokes on water.*
12. Great job on running a half marathon! Now, all you have to do is just do it all over again. Piece of cake.
13. Look, there’s my family!!! Thank God. (Running this isn’t easy, but standing & waiting this long for me probably isn’t very fun, either.)
14. I didn’t even know I could chafe there.
15. Swallowing a salt tab while running…probably not the best idea.
16. If I drink more, I’ll have to pee more. But if not, I’ll risk dehydration. Decisions, decisions.
17. *Smiles at every camera man* If I’m only doing this once, I need to look good in these pictures.
18. Almost to mile 20, I can do this!
19. Is that Lake Erie in my sports bra or just a pool of sweat? Ick.
20. What’s the probability that I will lose a toenail from this? Because I think I am right this second.
21. Oh. Crap. So this is the wall they were talking about… just ran smack into it.
22. Do I even have kneecaps anymore? I can’t even feel anything.
23. *Thinks about quitting 587 times* *Curses everything under the sun* *Hates people who have already finished and/or are still looking good at this point*
24. This is the worst. Why would anyone put themselves through this? Dedicating this mile to how stupid I am for signing up for this in the first place.
25. You’ve got less than a 5k left. SUCK. IT. UP.
26. You are SO close! Soon you’ll be eating chocolate cake and celebrating and wearing that medal around your neck all damn day. Keep going!!!
26.1. DONE. I FINISHED. OMG. I DID IT. I can cross this off my bucket list and NEVER do it again.
26.2. I heard Richmond has a nice fall marathon…I wonder if I could get a new PR if I just train harder?
Never say never 😉